TEENS, DEPRESSION and SUICIDE
Teen suicide is at an alarming rate and even mental health professionals are baffled.Teens are very vulnerable to feelings of depression this time of the year. With the onset of the holidays, along with limited sun exposure and the mid terms, just to name a few, I thought it would be a timely reason to offer some care for those who are struggling personally with this area of life. We never seem to really know what our children are really going through. Our children don’t come with manuals, and we don’t always know what to say when they are hurting. As a grief therapist I have walked with families struggling with suicide. We call this type of counseling: Survivors of Suicide Counseling. As a trained counselor, I have the privilege of helping many families walk through the time of raising teens. This is hard work for all involved. Parenting is the hardest and most noble job on earth, especially being a mother. Raising children can be the most rewarding and sometimes the most discouraging. When a child commits suicide, or any loved one for that matter, we are tempted to say “why didn’t I see it coming” or “how could I have helped”? As a psychotherapist and a woman who has experienced the death of a brother by suicide, I can tell you that it is devastating to a family and community and when it does come, we cannot and will not ever make sense of such untimely death.
It hurts so much- but please remember that you are not alone. Many of your friends, neighbors and co workers are going through the same struggles- but they are too afraid to share their story.
There are three important thoughts I would like to share as you consider teens, depression and suicide.
1_Teens who are depressed usually give off signals. Often, children who fear punishment may become anxious or depressed and become introverted or begin acting out when not around parents. For instance, they may begin staying way from home more often, or staying home and being alone most of the day in their room, crying, not eating , not sleeping. Many resort to lying to parents, teachers, friends, etc. Grades may drop although some depressed teens can keep up grades.
2_Teens who are depressed feel very lonely and are vulnerable. They may have broken off a relationship which hurts a great deal to them. If teens feel that parents don’t understand they will flock to those who feel the same way they do. Remember the old saying “misery loves company”. Negative people are not healthy for your child to be around especially when they are feeling depressed. Please check out your child’s friends and always ask questions about loneliness or frustration in your child’s life.
3-Teens who are depressed do often try to drink alcohol or smoke pot to deaden the pain. They may steal, buy or even be given hard drugs-prescription and illegal- to relieve the feelings of loneliness and sadness
FACT:Teens who have contemplated suicide will tell others. It should never be a shock to us- as most studies prove that at least 8 out of 10 teens have talked about suicide. Half of that number attempt it. It is never something to over look. If your teen or teens friends seem depressed, they probably are. Engage them, get them the help they need. As parents we are often at a loss to help our depressed teens, but remember the most IMPORTANT thing we can do for our teens who are depressed is BE THERE- Also learn to just LISTEN. Do not judge. They are hurting somewhere, somehow, and it is our job as a parent, teacher, mentor to help them find the root of the issue and get help. If you are concerned about your teen child or a teen you suspect is not him or herself lately, please consider professional help.
Glen Mills Counseling Center can help-call for an appointment:610.656.1424- or www.glenmillscounseling.org for more info
GLEN MILLS COUNSELING CENTER IS LICENSED and STATE BOARD APPROVED
